Service Users Story

A service user tells us in his own words about his journey from depression and how a work placement helped him.

In darkness there is always light, you must never stop looking for light when you are in darkness.

For most of the last year and part of this year, I was living a life of a depressed, unmotivated person due to serious negative life changing events in the space of a few weeks and the events leading up to them. My typical day consisted of struggling to get out of bed at a reasonable time and then when I did everything was just a farce; day time television and surfing the net took precedence over getting ready and going out. I didn't have the motivation to do anything, even wash-up a mug so I could have a cup of tea. I often found myself unshaven and sitting in pyjamas late in the afternoon. Habitual depressive behaviour had frozen my life, I felt tired all the time even though I was doing nothing with my day but thinking of those serious negative life changing events. I found myself stuck at home all day and if I did go out it was so late everyone else was finishing or about to finish their day and I felt preposterous. I used to wander the street walking to no particular place just to keep myself from feeling even more depressed. I was quite isolated, unemployed and lonely, doing my best to try and recover: I was in the darkness of depression.

My mental health at this point had deteriorated so much the only way I could go was forward; I couldn't go back any further. I decided with the help of my counsellor from the disabilities counselling service at Steels Lane Health Centre that I was ready for more activity in my life; we had been working towards that goal and now I felt ready. Finding employment would not only structure my life and install the very important routine needed by me but would also enable me to mix within the working environment with people. I would be me again, mixing with people again without long periods of loneliness and focusing on the dourness depression brings with it. I was referred to the Rework organisation and my journey to look for work and most importantly become actively seeking work orientated activities began. I was ready to break the chains of depression.

With the recession biting at the job market I was having difficulty finding work; I was also finding it very difficult during my recovery process to focus on job searches and other activity at home. The Rework team asked me if I would be interested in doing a work placement as this would be a very positive step for me. My advisor at Rework had already recommended that I installed a routine structure and places to attend during the day. The placement was perfect for this because it was a working environment for me to be in all day and I could focus within a positive structured office and good team. So, I told the team that I needed the activity and routine, and I began the application process for a placement.

A Rework advisor attended the placement interview with me at St. Leonards Community Dentistry where I was interview by the placement coordinator at NHS Tower Hamlets. It was a very important time for me and a very positive journey was about to begin. I began my placement and became a working member of a NHS administration team. I quickly noticed a change in myself. The whole experience was positive; interaction with people and being occupied broke the cycle of isolation I had been in and gave me an optimistic look at the future thus providing the urge and determination to keep with the programme. Inactivity was definitely not for me any longer. My self-belief which had long been covered with depression suddenly began to shine and burn away the negative clouds.

I had joined a friendly and optimistic administration team and the positivity rolled into my life from this. I was treated just like a regular employee; I was given tasks that had an effect on the running of the clinics and I got good support when I needed it. This boosted my belief in myself and my confidence began to come back. I found I was beginning to walk out of the mental cell of depression and it was a huge relief to feel so useful again. I gained more stability, control and direction in my life.

The placement has helped me to focus on my future and changed my life; it has given me the motivation and zest to get back into work and training. It has given me the confidence to do more things for myself with belief in my ability. This has led me signing up for a computer course to get a certificate in computer use and apply for more jobs. It has also allowed me o focus on thinking about a positive and happy future with springs in my steps. I can now see a nice horizon in front of me instead of dark lonely clouds and I can take my new found confidence into the future with me because now I know the inner outlook within me is different from before - I have changed from the person I was before the placement began and the change is good and it feels good.